My ten year wedding anniversary is just around the corner. I have to say it is making me get all sentimental and romantic! I have reminisced about when The Hubs and I first met. I LOVED dating him. Seriously, he was a great boyfriend. He knew just how to fill my love tank. If you are familiar with The 5 Love Languages book(I have mentioned it before), you will understand what "my love tank" is and how it gets filled. This is a great tool to not just understand how your spouse wants to be loved...but also to understand how you want to be loved. During our year of being friends I learned a lot about Scott's character, as a friend. He was such a loyal friend. He is very unselfish as well. Both of these character traits I do not possess. Then after a year of being "friends" we started dating. I learned even more about his character, but also how he wanted and needed to be loved.
Most men are physical. That is just a given. But, that does not mean that is the way they want to be loved. Scott and I love each other and of course I love kissing my man and holding hands...etc, but what he desires most from me is Words of Affirmation. I am sure if any men are reading this...they are like yeah...whatever! It is true though. The way my husband feels most loved by me is when I encourage him and build him up. When we are united in the way we feel about something and when I back him up.
I am not good with spoken words. So, this is funny that God would give me a husband that needs verbal public affirmation. For years, I showed Scott love by buying him things or making things or giving him cards. He feels loved...but if he was on empty in his love tank the line would barely budge up when I did these things. It was really frustrating. Scott did the same thing. I want gifts! This seems selfish...but it could be a simple card or a donut...seriously...I am not kidding. It is not the actual gift...again I am not kidding...The Hubs thinks I am full of it. I mean a Coach purse is awesome..but it is the thought behind it that really counts! I want him to think of me. He is a busy guy. His mind is going constantly all day with work related things. When he stops to think of me and picks up a card or flowers or a...donut..lol...I feel the love! He also tries to love me the way he wants to be loved. It is appreciated but it doesn't fill me up.
I don't believe this is the only way we feel love. If he talks about me to others that does make me feel so loved. If he kisses me goodbye I feel loved. If he grabs my hand while walking...again I feel loved. If he does the dishes or any "chore" I feel the love. I don't feel that kind of love too often...hahaha. But that is ok...acts of service would probably be last on my list.
So, even after 10 years we are still learning so much about each other. Our marriage has been nothing but a fun adventure. We rarely fight. It is a beautiful thing. Scott has taught me so much. I depend on him as our leader and I am excited to see what the next 10 years have in store for us. Our wonderful marriage is all because God has blessed us. No matter how hard we try to understand each other as male/female...mother/father...friend...lover...the most important relationship we have is the one in Christ.
*****As soon as I finished typing this...The Hubs brought me a cookie from Subway! I am feeling the love.
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