Thursday, December 5, 2013

3:Our perfect Number

I have always wanted two kids. Seemed like a sensible number. I come from a family with three children. The Hubs from two. I think it is awesome that people have large families. A big family was never something I desired though. Once I saw how awesome it was to have our son, how could I just want one? Well truth is that is what God had planned for our little family. Sometimes, it doesn't make sense and other days I am totally at peace with it.

I am at the age in my life where all my friends are having babies. I can name about 10 friends who have had babies just in the last month. Babies are everywhere! My sister is due in a little less than two months. Which is good. I will get to love on a baby girl and then hand her back when she cries or poops. It is a glorious thing!

I think we all get that question after we get married of :"when are you going to have a baby?" Then once you have the baby it is: "when are you having your next child?" I am not the type to get upset with that question. It is only natural to expect a couple to have another child. What gets me going is the response back when I say we are only having one child. Here are just a few:

"What? But Shane will be so lonely"
"Only children are spoiled brats usually"
"Don't you like kids?"
"No, you have to have more...you will regret it"

I understand... really, I do. I would think some of these things too. But, that is the key..I would think them...LOL. People like to express their thoughts about how they think you should live your life. I hear it with people with multiple children. I have a friend with 3 boys and someone had to nerve to say to her: "oh, so were you trying for a girl". As if she just kept popping kids out hoping one would be a girl!

I came across this picture once and thought it was so funny and true

Each family is unique in their own ways. I have prayed and prayed about having only one child. Thankfully, God has given me a peace. Do I still question it? Yes. It is hard. I do think about Shane being lonely...not having siblings. I am very aware of him being spoiled. I try to make sure we do our best to not make him spoiled and to be a thankful child. It is easy to do though when you can give all of your attention to one child and you can spend all your money on one child. It is something I will always have to be aware of.

I have talked to many "only child" adults. Some say they loved it! Others hated it. So we take the risk. We make sure he has plenty of friends and family around that he never feels lonely. I think about when we are gone...who will he have? Sometimes, brothers and sisters never get along. They have their differences and probably wish they were an only child! It is a hard thing to decide but, for so many reasons...we will be a family of three,

What are those reasons??? I know you probably want to know. I am writing this also to be encouraging to those who only have one child and are struggling with it. I have searched high and low for some encouragement and it is not easy to come by. As I mentioned before, we always wanted two children and that was the plan before I had to spend my last month or two of my pregnancy in and out of the hospital. My doctor told me that if I wanted any more that I would have to lose weight. Well, yeah......that did not happen. In fact, I did the opposite. If I were to get pregnant at the weight I am now, I could risk the life of my baby and my own. I had such high blood pressure with Shane. I would most likely be put on bed rest and would not be able to care for Shane, as I should. I feel very guilty about not losing the weight and therefore not being able to have another child. It is my fault. But, I love my little family and am blessed to have one child. Some are not able to even have one and that is how I look at it. I was able to have a child with just a few hiccups at the end. I am blessed. Even though it isn't the "norm"...it is our norm.