Tuesday, August 6, 2013

A year without you

On August 6th of 2012 I lost my Father in law. The whole day was just weird. This whole year has been weird. That is the only word I can use to describe how I have felt. It is weird going to my in-laws home and not seeing him sitting in "his spot". It is weird not having him stop by unexpectedly(which he loved to do). It is weird not listening to his rants on something political. It is weird to not have him be there for Shane and being the awesome Grandpa he was. It is weird not hearing my husband call him everyday.

When I think of something that is weird...I think of it being a little off. That is exactly what this past year has been without Gary...off. I have never lost anyone that close. I still have my Grandparents and even my Great-Grandmother. I have to admit death is very hard for me. Maybe because I have not had to deal with it. But, God gave me so much peace this year. He reminded me that Gary is still alive and well. Gary was such a trooper here on earth. He had so many health issues. I know when I just have the flu...I call in sick...lay in bed and am miserable. Now, this is not to say he was not grumpy:). But, it was all justified. He was not well..but he pushed through it. He loved nothing more than to have his family over. His eyes lit up every time we came over...more so for the Grand kids:).

I was able to have a few conversations and special times with him before he passed away. I treasure those and am so thankful God gave those to me. One night I was over their house and we started talking about when The Hubs and I were dating. He asked me what I thought of him...not what I thought about The Hubs..but himself. I quietly said I was a little afraid. I then quickly followed that up with an explanation. You see, he had this rough exterior but a heart of gold. I told him about a few times I had gone over to their house and every time I did he was on the phone with his sister! I was so impressed. He had such a great relationship with her. I was able to tell him how much I respected that as I did not see this in my own family...even with myself. I had a moment where I thought to myself.."I want to be a part of this family". When choosing a spouse you have to look at their parents. Scott has the most amazing parents. They loved each other and God..something that is hard to find. I see so many of Gary's great qualities in Scott(and some of his not so desirable ones, but they made him who he was and I loved it).

Another special time we had was when Jan and Gary enlisted my help to clean out their closets. Oh my...this was so fun. Well, for me at least. Gary was not really into it...at first. He was holding on to everything. I started to turn into one of those tv hosts that helps people organize their home. Gary had his ah-ha moment and just started getting rid of everything. I can't help but think God had us do this to make it a little easier on us and not have to get rid of so many of his items. Not to say he still does not have a lot of other stuff:). He loved his stuff. We had so much fun that night. We started to get on Jan as she was holding onto pant jumpsuits from her younger years (which were totally fabulous..so I can't blame her).. God allowed these times and I am so grateful.

The day before he died was so wonderful. Just another moment I am thankful for. We spent time in the kitchen together that day. That was always our common ground. He loved talking about cooking with me. We went out to the locker where he kept all his canned goods and we gathered all the ingredients for dinner. What a great night. Although, it is weird to not have him here I am thankful he is in perfect condition...free from pain and suffering. If he can't be here with us...how marvelous it is to be with God who can take care of him far better than we or any doctor could ever do here on earth. No doctor could completely heal him or give him a new body...but The Great Physician did and I am sure Gary is singing His praises at this moment. It has been a hard year without Gary, but I am thankful for the man he was and for that legacy that is carried over in my own husband. And now I will stop writing because I am getting my computer all wet from my tears!!!
One of my favorite pics from our wedding. Gary was a great teacher and Scott was listening:).

Ohhhh...so precious. They loved eachother so much. I really wish he could have been around longer strictly for Shane. They had great adventures and he had so many future plans he wanted to do with his Grandson.