Friday, October 18, 2013

RESPECT- Yo Self

I have a disclaimer before I get started. Disclaimers usually mean to me that I may say some things that not everyone will agree with so, I am diffusing what I am about to write with a disclaimer. This is my last post in my "respect series"(sounds like I am all professional and stuff). I want to talk about people respecting themselves. I will focus mainly on females as that is what burdens me the most and well I am a female! So my disclaimer goes as follows: I too struggle with respecting myself. I hope I do not sound too judgmental as that is not my intention in this post or in any of my posts. I try to have humility when I write. People are more responsive when I write that way, than when I am just ranting and writing out of anger. God has given me the gift of discernment. I have know this for years, but a few years back I realized I was using my gift wrong! I was using it to judge people. I was losing a battle of right and wrong and became angry and had no compassion for people who were living in sin. God gave me a wake up call. I found out I was not perfect! What??? How can this be? Yes, He basically told me to check myself before I wrecked myself. I love when God gets all ghetto with me. So, I hope this post does not sound judgmental.

I tend to look back at generations before us and think about how they acted. I look at what they wore and really just how they reacted to situations. I think there is always room for improvement. You can probably see that in your own family as your parents learned from their parents mistakes and you learned from your parents mistakes and so on. There is still a part of me that wishes I did not live in this "era". Even more so I am afraid of what my child will have to face in his lifetime. Back in my day..lol..I don't remember there being so much pressure for me to dress seductively. I graduated 13 years ago and I really don't remember it being a struggle. I have to say it has become a more recent struggle. I am 31 years old, have been married for 10 years and am a mother. Why is it a struggle now? I have two words: Carl's Jr. Yep, it is all Carl's fault! By Carl's Jr I mean media in general. I mean leave it to a burger chain to make you think eating a cheeseburger needs to or can be sexy! I mean there is nothing sexy about eating a cheeseburger. Especially a Carl's Jr cheeseburger. Their slogan is: "If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face" ! Yet, somehow by getting a super gorgeous girl taking a bite makes us feel guilty for not being able to stuff our face in a sexy manner. Those commercials are just ridiculous. It shows just how disgusting the media can be. It shows the lack of respect for girls and also the lack of respect for guys.Guys are visually tempted daily. They don't need a burger commercial to add to that temptation. This may seem like a silly illustration about respect, but I wanted to show you that disrespect is everywhere these days. I am disrespected as a woman as other women sell themselves on tv and around town. I am disrespected by other females for trying to push their sexiness on my husband on tv and around town. Have you been to the mall lately? The Hubs and I love to people watch. It is so sad though. Girls, who can't be more than 12-14 years of age have shorts on that show their bootie!!!! Sometimes they are even walking with their parents! Ugghhh, I have been known to be a prude but come on girls, don't disrespect yourself like this.

Halloween is coming up soon. Yay! National time for girls to dress like a prostitute day! I wonder how girls choose their costumes. I imagine it going a bit like this: "let me see....I really want to be a bumble bee...but bumble bees are not sexy...so let me get some knee high yellow and black striped socks and a little tutu and a leotard. Oh, and of course bumble bees don't have boobs but let me show all of mine. Yes, perfect! I will be a sexy bumble bee!" The costumes that bother me the most are the ones that are manly costumes that a girl turns sexy. Like a sailor or a soldier. I was looking at Pinterest and there was a picture of a "sexy jungle soldier". Hahaha...who comes up with this? A jungle soldier? I am sure they thought they were being very creative...bless their heart. Now, before I start to slam all these young girls I really do feel sorry for them. They have been blasted with images of sexy women all over the tv and in magazines. As a woman, I feel the pressure too. The world is saying you need to be a piece of meat and lure your prey. Instead of being a prize to be won and cherished. When we dress immodestly we are "luring" in our "prey". Guys are visual. You are sending out a message of come get me and then you wonder why you are surrounded by a bunch of sharks! Dressing modestly is a sign of self-respect. I am guilty of trying to dress up in order to lure my husband but guess what married girls this also lures the eyes of other men. I need to be respectful not just of myself and husband but other men, married or not. I get attention but at the end of the day I may have caused others to stumble and as a sister in Christ I have failed.


Bottom line is this: If you don't respect yourself, do not expect anyone else to respect you. There are still plenty of ways to look beautiful with out showing your lady parts and making guys stumble. You may think, yeah, but you are married, you don't have to "lure" anyone anymore. Although, I am not in the dating scene any longer(thank you Lord) I still need to look good for my man, right? But, just my man..no one else. Put on some red lipstick and high heels. Take your hair out of that pony tail and curl it. Put on a cute dress. You can still be fashionable without being trashy. And you can be beautiful without looking like you are working on the corner...mmmkay. I am being super sarcastic but this is something very heavy on my heart. I pray for my husband daily and for my other brothers in Christ. I also pray for young girls and women. It is hard times to live a life pleasing to God, we do not need any more distractions. So, girls don't lure, be pure.